I went shopping today and I bought some new pants. I did a tremendous job buying these pants. I am pleased with myself and I strongly feel that these pants showcase my brilliance in subtle yet meaningful ways.
They were less expensive than comparable pants from other stores. I love how smart I am that I can find deals. Most people just buy the first pants they see. I use cunning that has been developed since my youth and is reflected in my high SAT scores as well as my solid performance in AP English. These pants validate my cunning. Notice that, if you will. Read the rest of this entry »
Dear Whom It May Concern Be You Sir or Madame:
I am writing to you to express my sincere interest in the position of Cubicle Inhabitant at your firm. I have spent the past 9 years inhabiting cubicles for a variety of companies and I believe these experiences, coupled with my strong desire to receive regular paychecks from you, will distinguish me as an ideal candidate for the position. I would like to take this opportunity to highlight certain aspects of my background. Read the rest of this entry »
Journal Entry 1
I’m not keeping track of time, but I’m guessing its spring out there. I hate them. Good god I hate them with every fiber of my being, I loathe them like an angel to a demon. Most likely because they are demons, those hideous worms. I hate their big gaping, toothy maws. I hate that revolting squelching sound they make when they move. I hate their horrid screams of pain when I slice them apart with my axe every time they get into the house. This house is all that is sacred to me, and those things are not getting in. Read the rest of this entry »
